That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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