My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
