You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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