evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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