I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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