Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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