he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i drank out of a bidet.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
