Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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