I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
