FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
