Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
