I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
my poor anus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize