Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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