I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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