I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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