Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
