walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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