At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
