so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
