Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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