I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
