member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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