we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
