apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
