they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
sex in a hospital.. check
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
