My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
