I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
