I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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