I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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