Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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