I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
