her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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