Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
