doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
