I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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