GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
