your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
