atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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