they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
