i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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