I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
