do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
