HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
