she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
