We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
