I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
