It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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