Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize