You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
