i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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