maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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