so that wasnt chicken after all
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
