And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
