Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
