so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
