11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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