Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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