her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
