You smell like stripper and shame
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
