Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
