took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
