Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
