Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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