My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
