I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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